Smith's Power Consulting

One Thing You MUST Do To Stop Thinking About Your EX

May 29, 2023 Coach Smith Season 2 Episode 9
Smith's Power Consulting
One Thing You MUST Do To Stop Thinking About Your EX
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Ever wondered why it's so hard to stop thinking about an ex? Why can't we just regain control of our thoughts and move on? Tune in as we reveal the secrets behind this struggle and share practical steps to regain your mental freedom. We'll cover the concept of perceived (subjective) value and how every thought about an ex increases their worth in our minds, leading to more anxiety and making the recovery process even more challenging.

But there's hope – we have the perfect remedies to help you stop obsessing over your ex. We'll discuss how to replace the emotional addiction to your ex with healthier alternatives. A personal crisis like a breakup can be one of the best opportunities for personal growth and resilience. Listen in and discover how to become stronger today.

Subscribe now to unlock powerful relationship and post-breakup recovery insights, and acquire valuable wisdom on the innovative, tactical approach to psychology that can benefit your personal growth and healing journey. To unlock the secrets to mend and reignite your relationship, get my "No Contact Guide" for FREE (valued at $30 in retail) and get answers to most of your questions about no contact:

Savva Smith: And we're thinking about our ex again. I've always wondered why can't we just stop? Why is it so hard? Why can't we consciously stop ourselves from even thinking about our past? So there you are, reminiscing about them more and more, until one evening you decide, just for a moment, to check out their social media. Maybe there's some hint or sign. Perhaps they regret their actions but are a bit shy or stubborn, resisting the urge to reach out. So, just for a minute, you're opening their Instagram or Facebook, but all you see are their smiling photos, their seemingly perfect life, and… wait, who's that next to them? A new friend perhaps? Or maybe it's more than that. Your mind starts racing, painting all sorts of painful possibilities. The knot in your stomach tightens and your right back where you started, neck deep in despair. And yet another YouTube video seems to be your only solace. And you see, every mention of an ex invokes memories of them. You're typing how to stop thinking about an ex And well, you're thinking about your ex again. 

Savva Smith: The problem is, every thought about our ex increases where perceived subjective value. The more you think about someone, the more value they hold in your mind. You can imagine that every time you think about your ex, they gain a point, a mystical point that adds to their worth. And the more points they have, the more anxious you become And the more desperate you feel to get them back. It's like an ever-ending spiral. The more value they hold in your mind, the more you think about them, the harder the recovery process becomes, because after a breakup, when they leave us, our value in their mind is quite low. This imbalance, this disparity of subjective value, of power - when you see them as your partner, when you're dependent on them and they are not, is detrimental to recovery. This balance has to be restored. If you want them to be attracted to you again, if you want to be together again, you have to restore this balance. It is time for you to even the score, and usually it feels like it's impossible. But, believe it or not, many have walked this path before you Men and women who, with just a little bit of consistency and patience, have managed to regain their self-worth, shake off the anxiety and move forward. 

Savva Smith: Of course I'm referring to no contact, but the question is during no contact, how can we divert our thoughts away from the past? It is no secret that the first month after a breakup can be the toughest. For some, if thoughts of an ex become a constant companion, this rough period can stretch for several agonizing months. But did you know that what you're going through is essentially withdrawal? Yes, you heard right. You're grappling with an addiction to your ex and addiction to the emotional hormonal cocktail they steered in you. And how does one take all addiction? Simple, by replacing it with another one. But this time it's an addiction that serves you. 

Savva Smith: Imagine yourself learning to ride a motorbike or hitting the mountain biking trails for the first time. Engaging in activities that demand your full attention not only diverts your mind, but also provides bursts of dopamine, the feel-good hormone. Now, my personal recommendation here and trust me, this works wonders is martial arts. The moment you step into the ring, your past becomes a blurry memory. You're right there in the present moment, more vibrant and alive than ever. And if physical activity is currently impossible, you can even try video games. Science confirms that playing video games improves visual-effective attention and leads to improvements in several cognitive domains, such as working memory and cognitive flexibility. So the solution is in meditation, talking or coaching. Unfortunately, or fortunately, the solution is action Activities that command your undivided attention, captivate you, trigger a rush of dopamine and, above all, strengthen you, because a personal crisis like a breakup can be one of the best opportunities for personal growth and resilience. You can do it and you will, i am sure of it. I wish you to become stronger today. 

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